Exciting news! With nothing further to report on the rapidly melting northern ice cap, there has been an alleged sighting of Sarah Jessica Parker’s missing mole. It is almost a month since the sensational split between the mole and Ms Parker. A Berwick mole enthusiast claims to have seen the absconder. In a blog post, Ms Cook stated, “He was trying to find himself in an ashram in India.” If this unsubstantiated claim is true, it would appear that the mole is seeking a new life for himself, shattering fans hopes for a future reconciliation with Ms Parker.
Also this week a report was received from an anonymous informant that Jessica’s ex was seen with a group of Activists who were protesting outside a laser skin care clinic. The informant, wearing a black hood over his head for fear of blemishes on his character, alleged that among the 200 or so protestors were other moles who had severed their humans. Other protestors included a large group of age spots, two spider veins and an angry wart. In a brief statement to authorities, the anonymous informant alleged that the mole refused to comment to him on the reasons for his split with Jessica. The mole said, it is claimed, that while he still holds her [Jessica] in high regard, he has absolutley no regrets about his decision to have her removed.